Mary, Did You Know?

After an interesting character analysis in church on Sunday by my friend Lawrita, and then further thoughts from my friend Kristen's blog, I have found myself pondering the life of Mary, mother of Jesus, this week.

When she said, "Be it to me as you have said" to the angel, did she have the slightest clue what she was really signing up for?

I mean, really, how many times has God asked something of us and, in the beginning, we are so moved by the exhilaration of doing something great for God that we don't so much think about the reality of walking it out in the day-to-day?

I keep focusing on this one thought: Mary, did you know that in essence God was asking you to be misunderstood for His glory? 

I agree with Lawrita!  One of my biggest struggles as a woman has been being misunderstood.  Whether it actually happens or I just fear it happening, it hangs me up!

I really think if I had been in Mary's little ole shoes, I would have been overcome with the glory of the angel.  I think I would  have been in La-La Land, thinking, "Wow...I must be so special!  God picked me!  I get to be the mother to the Savior of the whole world!"

Then, when, in my excitement, I started running my mouth to tell everybody and their brother and the persecution started hitting me, I finally would have clued into how heavy the responsibility really was! 

Seriously, what all did this girl go through?  The things that must have been said about her!  And all she was trying to do was obey God and birth the greatest gift the world would ever know!

Talk about being misunderstood and having to stand strong in the face of adversity! 

Tis' the Season to Love

I like this season...this time of year.  

I like the lights, the smells, the decorations, the get-togethers.  

I like most that people are in the mindset of giving...of putting others first...the mindset of love.

I was thinking about how many people probably say, "I love you" to others on a daily basis in the U.S.A.  


But to me, love is an action, not a sweet 3-word phrase.

Oh how many of us throw these words around or just act pleasant toward one another superficially, while secretly loathing inside or thinking nasty or negative thoughts?

How many walk away or silently cut people out of their lives?

I know I have been guilty of it!  In my immaturity or fear or intimidation, I have taken the easy way out at times.

What about those times when we get up the nerve to reach out and try to talk about our feelings and the other person is too busy or will not meet with us?

What about those people who have hurt us by walking away or shutting us out but wanna come back into our circle?  

True love always protects, always trusts, always hopes, and always perseveres.

Always???  Really...ALWAYS?

Yuck!  Don't you hate when it's in the Word so clearly like that?

Love is hard because it lays us vulnerable before another sinner.

In this season of hustle and bustle, shopping and wrapping, take some time to examine your heart and see if there is a gift you can give that cannot be bought.


Is there anyone who needs your forgiveness? 


Is there someone who needs to hear from  you?


Is there someone who has hurt you whom you need to lay at the feet of Jesus and move on?


Do you need to love yourself and set some healthy boundaries for your life?


Love comes in so many forms...and it always costs us something.  


Does God want you to give dollars and cents this year, or is He calling you to comfort another with words or meaningful time?  


Just some thoughts going through my mind in these wee hours!

Are You Starving Yourself?

2010 is coming to a close and as we look to begin 2011, our family is gearing up for our annual fast.

This will be our third year participating in the Daniel Fast with our church family.

If you are not familiar with fasting, or have only heard of it, it can sound super weird or super spiritual.  The truth is, fasting has been going on for decades by various people groups and it's really very simple, though hard on the flesh.

The point of fasting or giving up food (though it has come to encompass giving up many things) is to take one's focus off self and put it on God and others.

We personally take part in this each year to refocus ourselves, show God HE alone is our priority, that we want to know HIS will for our lives.  We pray in unity about issues that affect all of us.

In our home, we use this time to fast a lot of media, stick close together as a family unit, and share our hopes and dreams for the year.  We don't allow sleepovers or excessive running around at this time.  We slow life waaayyy down so that we can regroup as one, especially after the busy holiday season.

If you have never done this with your family, please consider it.  Make it personal and don't get caught up in legalism about it.  Remember, you are not the Holy Spirit for someone else!  Let God deal with your heart and lovingly guide your family through this process in humility.

I believe God's promise:  if we seek, we will find.  Ask Him to show you anything you need to lay down in order to grow...to grow closer to Him, to your family, even to understand who you are more!

Fasting is an amazing gift.  It's sad how we rarely forget to feed ourselves physically, but we often starve ourselves spiritually.

No matter where you are in life or how bad things seem, God has your answers.  He IS your answer.  The Bible says the Holy Spirit will lead you into ALL truth...not partial...complete!  Rejoice in that and give your full attention to it.  

Our holiday season in America can get absolutely crazy!  But, right now is when so many start to focus on other people and giving.  It's a great time to begin asking God how you can give the beginning of the new year to Him and what your family's fast should look like.  


Every year we reap tremendous reward for our time and discipline in fasting.  I pray that each family would come back to this practice and reap as well.

Blessings to you and yours~

What is Thanksgiving REALLY?

As we draw into the holiday season, I have been listening to children saying, "I want..."  

My children, other people's children...they are talking.  They are simply doing what we have conditioned them to do.

My oldest son (Garrison, 12) said to me a while back, "Mom, as you get older Christmas really changes.  I don't have a bunch of stuff I want like when I was little.  I think I have realized it's not about that." 

We are so happy to hear these words!

I have found myself pondering how to use this holiday season to get my children focused on giving instead of getting. 

In a few days, all over the U.S.A. we will sit around stuffing food into ourselves with little thought to the rest of the world.  We won't be focused on the starving children of Africa or the homeless survivors of Haiti, nor the enslaved children of Cambodia and Thailand.  We will be relishing in our abundance, for as my friend Adam says, "WE live in a delightful land."

We sure do.  Even our poorest have means to government assistance.  Many of us have no understanding of what truly lies beyond us.

Many of us just don't want to have our thoughts or hearts invaded with the uncomfortableness world awareness brings because we know if we do, we will feel compelled to do something to change it!

I have seen it.  I have smelled it.  I have tasted from the cup my fellow humans drink.  Oh, it was but a small, small sip that I could immediately retreat from and run away from...back to my Delightful Land, but taste I have and I cannot ignore it.  

No, strike that!  I will not ignore it!

I can no longer think about my Thanksgiving feast without remembering this little boy in Nicaragua who shoveled food into his mouth like it was his first and last meal...this little boy who has bald patches on his head because he was so malnourished. 

I rarely forget him on a daily basis as I listen to my sons complain about their food or watch them run freely into a well-stocked kitchen for a snack of their choice.

My eyes have been opened, and more importantly, my heart has been opened.

Thanksgiving isn't a mere holiday.  Thanksgiving should be a selfless reaction!

It should be a recognition of gratitude that swells our hearts so big they burst and others receive the overflow!

If we are truly thankful, we are propelled to action...to give others what we have been given...to give back to God what He has given to us!  And to give to all, no matter their geographical location, their culture, or the color of their skin.

James 1:26-27 (from The Message) Anyone who sets himself up as "religious" by talking a good game is self-deceived. This kind of religion is hot air and only hot air. Real religion, the kind that passes muster before God the Father, is this: Reach out to the homeless and loveless in their plight, and guard against corruption from the godless world.

Lost in Chaos?

Seems like everywhere I turn lately I hear another momma talking about how crazy the kids are acting.  Bickering, picking at one another, mouthing off to each other...and mom and dad are having to referee constantly...or kiddos are disrespecting mom and dad. 

Maybe for you it's not your kids but your spouse or your roommate, extended family or coworkers.

What is going on?

C'mon...it's supposed to be the season of thankfulness so why so much conflict and chaos?


The book of James tells us that the basis of all quarrels is selfishness.  I try to remind my sons of this every single time there is a dispute.  Always, when we talk it out, the root is someone's selfishness. 

I spent a great portion of my life being selfish.  The only cure I have found for it is a true relationship with Jesus.  I know many people think that is just a bunch of fluff...a hope people hang onto so that they can feel better. 

I certainly don't know the words to convince any doubters that is not the case, but on the chance anything I can say will help someone else, I continue to speak up. 

I've lived life both ways...with Jesus as my focus and without.  Hands-down, for me, with Jesus wins!

I really try not to care what anyone thinks anymore.  I know what I have experienced.  I know He is real and really speaks.  He really cares about everything in my life.  He is ever-present, and He doesn't want my life or home or family to be chaotic.

I certainly don't have all the answers, but I have found several of them.  No one can argue this with me because I am living proof!

How did we get here?

My husband and I looked at the overwhelming evidence of the reality of the man named Jesus...that He indeed was crucified and raised back to life.  People believe so many less credible things than this it's hilarious!  We have come to believe that it takes much more faith to NOT believe in Jesus than TO believe in Him!

At the end of the day, after you have researched your brains out, you finally have to make a choice to believe or not believe what you cannot completely see with your eyes or your mind.  We chose to believe.  We have been changed in amazing ways.

Our choice was to fear the Lord.  I don't mean we chose to be afraid of Him, but rather we chose to honor Him and His Word above all.

Psalm 128:1 says, "BLESSED (HAPPY, fortunate, to be envied) is everyone who fears, reveres, and worships the Lord, who walks in His ways and lives according to His commandments.^" 

Tom and I experience this blessing every single day.  I don't mean that we don't have troubles.  We aren't close to perfect and neither are our children.  Our blessing comes in how we act and react when those inevitable troubles come.

I get sad.  I get angry.  I doubt.  I sin. 

But somehow, no matter how bad things get, I feel the gentle love and reminding that I am not alone.  I think we lose our peace when we lose our focus.  Maybe we are spread too thin or everything that can go wrong is going wrong!  Whatever the circumstances, I have found that when I am frustrated and feel like I am losing it, my focus has fallen from Him to me.

Isaiah 26:3 says, "You will guard him and keep him in perfect and constant peace whose mind [both its inclination and its character] is stayed on You, because he commits himself to You, leans on You, and hopes confidently in You."

Can you even fathom perfect and constant peace? Oh, how I long for it!  I sure have tasted of it for good, long periods of time in my life, but constantly...wow, that would be sweet!

God wouldn't have allowed that to be written in the Word if it wasn't possible.  The reward comes with a requirement however: our minds MUST be stayed (fixed) on Him; we must commit ourselves to Him, lean on Him, and hope CONFIDENTLY in Him.

How often I find myself hoping in my abilities...my work to discipline my kids; my work to fix my finances; my trying to hold my tongue and not blow my top!  Me, me, me...

I am reminded today to take my thoughts hostage and turn them back to Him.  It takes diligence and purpose to capture the lies our minds run with and replace them with God's truth.  It's a vital step in maintaining victory.

Maybe we can't make everyone around us peaceful.  Maybe we can't fix our environment, but we can change what goes on inside of us.  That is a gift we too often forfeit and sadly it is because of our selfishness.

Perhaps the most mysterious thing is how, when we do give up ourselves and become more peaceful, it DOES affect our environment and those around us.  It's really hard for someone to fight with someone who won't fight back!

Know YOUR Man!

Marriage is on my heart this week.

I just finished reading a book that is supposed to teach women about men...how they think and feel, what they wish we knew.

It wasn't a bad book at all.  It had some very useful information in it, but if I had not asked my husband detailed and pointed questions, I may have bought right into what was being said and it would have made a big ole mess in my marriage!

We must be very diligent about communicating with our spouses.  This is often hard because we have to be vulnerable to give truth and receive it, but nothing can beat out communication as the number one way to get accurate information.

How one man ticks may not be how another one does.  How most men tick may not be exactly how your man does.  Ask questions lovingly and pray for gentle answers.  Be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to anger!

I have a really, really good marriage, but it didn't just happen.  It took a lot of both of us laying down selfishness and putting the other person before ourselves.  We have had many gut-wrenching conversations to get to the truth.

We have walked through some difficult junk and conquered, but it took diligence and perseverance.  I am so thankful for my husband's heart toward me.  His patience astounds me.  His ability to lay aside his own agenda to make life easier for me speaks volumes more than the words I love you ever could!

One of our passions is to help young couples START their marriage the way we are finally living ours!  

I pray you are continually making progress in your marriage.  Families are definitely the target of our enemy!


My prayer, based on what I read last night:


Guard my heart Lord.  Help me to love my husband for who he is and not who I want him to be.  Help me to support him and not try to change him.  Give me Your heart for him.  Remind me to be an encourager and not a criticizer.  Show me how to help him!  Help me to receive what he shares with me with a compassionate and sincere heart.  Remind me that we are on the same team, fighting a cruel enemy.  Enable me to allow him to share his struggles openly and honestly.  Let me recognize his daily choices to honor me and not sin because of temptation.  Help me to spend my energy helping him fight the temptations of the culture instead of fighting him.  In Jesus' name I pray...Amen

Don't Give Up!

Yesterday I felt crazy. I really did. Everything felt like it was weighing on my shoulders, and I just wanted to collapse into sleep. 

I awoke not feeling well physically, which always makes things worse! I had a hundred and one things to do. Everywhere I walked in my house, a mess was staring back at me.  My heart was burdened for multiple friends who had just lost loved ones, were grieving anniversaries of lost loved ones, had friends or family in hospitals, or were themselves in the hospital!

Do you have these days?  You must.  Surely everyone can relate! 

I felt so overwhelmed that I didn't even know where to start.

I heard someone say once that as a Christian, one cannot be overwhelmed...only whelmed.

I was trying to put everything in order so that I could go out of town alone with my husband for a couple of days.  

Today, I am alone in a hotel room...a very quiet, calm hotel room.  I am almost completely relaxed, and I have already heard the Holy Spirit speak things to me.

What a contrast of days...of emotions...of mindsets...of attitudes...of thoughts!

I am memorizing the book of James with my sons.  We have talked about not being a person who is double-minded and tossed to and fro like the surf of the sea!  Boy did I feel tossed yesterday!  I felt way beyond whelmed.

I looked up the meaning of overwhelm on Dictionary.com:
1. to overcome completely in mind or feeling: overwhelmed by remorse.

2. to overpower or overcome, esp. with superior forces; destroy; crush: Roman troops were overwhelmed by barbarians.

3. to cover or bury beneath a mass of something, as floodwaters, debris, or an avalanche; submerge: Lava from erupting Vesuvius overwhelmed the city of Pompeii.

4. to load, heap, treat, or address with an overpowering or excessive amount of anything: a child overwhelmed with presents; to overwhelm someone with questions.

5. to overthrow.

 

This gave me a lot to think about. 

 

I don't believe as a born-again child of God that my Heavenly Father will allow me to be overcome, overpowered, or crushed by the enemy.  However, I do see that I can sure get myself out from under His covering to the point that something else is allowed to cover me.  God gives us a way out (in fact, He gives us ways to keep us from ever getting there in the first place), but it is our responsibility to take the steps to remain in peace despite what is going down around us.

 

I was so mindful of all the tasks I had to do yesterday that I didn't set my thoughts and heart on what was most important.  I allowed myself to be overwhelmed in my mind by thoughts. 

 

As I read those definitions, I pictured myself under a pile of leaves and God reaching his hand in...just waiting for me to grab hold so He could pull me out.  

 

He never leaves us without a Holy helping hand.  I hope in the future I will capture my thoughts quicker and hold on to Him, not giving up or succumbing to what I can see. 

 

Listen and be encouraged:

 

Hold Fast by Mercy Me 

Are You Doing What You're Told?

I was messaging with a friend earlier today, and this is part of something I sent to her.  This has been burning on my heart for the Body of Christ lately.

It makes me feel really sad when people count others in the Body as successful or accomplished because that individual has done certain things society calls "big." 

I truly believe that we should be proud of someone, admire them, give them props or accolades when we can say, "Wow, that's great that they heard the voice of God and obeyed just how He wanted them to, when He wanted them to."

Would you say to me, "Mindy, you really haven't got it together girl.  I mean, you haven't given up everything and moved away and sacrificed enough.  What you have done really isn't much...not compared to others."

I doubt you would say that to me. 

Would you think it, or can you respect me for doing what God has called me to do?
 

I think there is a lie at work telling us that if we never do anything "bigger" than live in a stupid ole little town and babysit a few kids...or if we never give up the comfort of the U.S. and move to a distraught place to serve then we haven't accomplished anything for the Kingdom or admirable in this life.

What my friend Heather is doing in Cambodia to combat human trafficking is great...it's awesome and inspiring and life-changing.

But I really think what my friend Amy is doing this week is also all of those things, even though it's "just" reaching out to a family in lil ole Countrytown, USA whose home just burned to the ground and they lost everything...while she is planning meals for a family that just had a new baby...while she is on crutches and her husband is injured and can't work...while she is going through custody issues... 

I also think Tom's Grandma sitting beside her sister's bedside today are all those things...as well as the hours I just spent praying with and teaching my sons.

Yes, I really am coming to see that any time we step out in faith and use the gifts God gives us, whatever they are, and OBEY God's voice, that is when He is pleased.  

He never meant for us to compete with others or look down on ourselves because of the gifts He placed in others or what they accomplished through those gifts.

We have no reason to be jealous of what someone else's obedience has produced because every moment of every day we have the same opportunity to obey.  And sometimes, obedience is in the action of being patient and waiting upon the Lord to tell you what to do and when to do it.  In our chaotic and busy culture, waiting upon the Lord makes us feel unproductive.

Don't compare yourself to others or get lost in frustration.  Rest in the Lord and in knowing you are obeying what you know to do at this point in time.

God's ways are not our ways.  His thoughts are not our thoughts.  What we consider to be grand and amazing may mean absolutely nothing to Him.  If He hasn't told us to do it, our labor is in vain!

Just What is Ministry?

What am I called to do?

You've heard that question before, right?  I bet you have thought it too.

It's okay.  We definitely were created for something...something bigger than ourselves.  We all yearn for it, though it often baffles us for years.

When we finally come to Jesus, we start to understand that He created us to do this "something" that we are trying to figure out.

I totally believe that God gave each of us gifts and abilities to do very individual things.  Our gifts are meant to build one another up.  Sadly, that is not how it often goes in our modern church buildings though.

Where did we start missing the big picture?  When did we take our eyes off the purpose and put them on each other?  Why do people who are supposed to be in the same family...on the same team...working toward the same goal become so critical of one another?

And really, just what is this arrogance about in judging between individual "callings?"  Seriously?  The Word clearly shows us that we are all part of the same body, having different functions, but all equally important!

I know them though.  I bet you know "those kind" of people too.  You have heard them talk.  They are the ones who think to be anything of worth you must be the one holding the microphone.  They give little thought or props to the one who humbly cleans the bathroom (uh-hmmm...the throne) they sit upon!

Never-mind them.  It's me.  It's you.  It's every last one of us at some time or another.  Hopefully, we are allowing God to open our eyes in this day.  

True ministry is seeing others better than ourselves.  It is caring for those who are in need.  It's not about preaching well.  You can be a great public speaker with much charisma but not have true love.  Given enough time, you will start to sound like a loud, annoying, clanging symbol!

Yes, some people are specifically called to be a senior pastor or a youth pastor, a prophet, a teacher, an evangelist, or an apostle, but that never negates the responsibility of serving.

When Jesus washed His disciples feet, He was purposely showing that the greatest leader should never consider himself/herself better than those under him/her.  Jesus took the dirtiest job of washing the junk of the streets off his disciples feet.  No job was beneath Him.

I know people who have waited around for years, some who are still waiting, not doing much of anything because they just "know" they are supposed to be leaders in the church.

Then there are men like my husband.  Tom has known the call to leadership was upon him since he was a very young man.  He even ran hard from it for a long time!  Every church we have ever walked into, our leaders have recognized it upon Tom.  But never did he just go assert himself to any position or sulk because he didn't feel he was being used to his potential or try to convince a leader that he was something great.

Tom takes honor and respect, obedience and submission very seriously.  I know few men that I admire like my husband.  Has he messed up?  Yes.  Many times over he has failed me.  But I have never had anyone else in my entire life admit wrongdoing and ask for my forgiveness so quickly.  

My husband serves me.  He looks for ways to honor me.  He listens to me, and he learns what will bless me.  He doesn't sit around waiting for me to do his dishes or cook his food.  He doesn't get angry at me when his clothes aren't clean or his shirts are not ironed.  He doesn't try to demand things of me or manipulate me.  He doesn't throw things up in my face, try to one-up me, or belittle me.


He loves me.  He lays down his life for me...in little ways, every single day.  Would he take a bullet for me?  Definitely, without a second thought.  The real test, however, is when he walks in the door from work and just wants more than anything to take a nap, and instead, finds another boost of energy to be an involved dad.


Ministry is not being in the glamorous spotlight, having all eyes upon you.  It's choosing to die to yourself and lift others up.  Ministry is becoming less so God and others can become more.  It is recognizing what God says your priorities should be and being willing to do whatever needs done...no matter how much your flesh doesn't like it!


What were you created for?  God simply yearned for relationship.


What are you called to do?  Love Him with all your heart, mind, soul, and strength and love your neighbor as yourself.


You may stand before a crowd and speak for Him, but perhaps you may only sit before a few.  Realize, child of the Most High God, yes, you are called to "the ministry."  Every person you encounter is your ministry.  It is your honor to show them love.  True agape love is an action...an act of service...ministering to another.

REJECTION!

Man, rejection hurts!

No matter what form it comes in, it just hurts, doesn't it?

Sometimes it's not even real...just perceived.


I am pretty sure I have run the spectrum on rejection.  I have been blatantly rejected.  I have definitely thought I was being rejected.  I have rejected others.  I have even been rejected without people making a flashy thing...you know the quiet slip away rejection...the fade out!

I've been shot down for speaking my thoughts...looked down on for not having certain things...despised for the things I am good at...ridiculed for something I was born with...

I've been mocked behind my back...I've been teased into tears...I've had my character slaughtered in a book...I've been called things I'm not...I've been accused of things I never did...


I've said things that wounded...I've thought things that I shouldn't...I've gone along with others to save my own face...I've criticized in my heart...judged in my arrogance...


Yep...I've been around this rejection bend!


Why do we reject?  Because we are insecure and feel threatened in some way.


Why do we feel rejected?  Because we are insecure and feel threatened in some way.


Either way, the root is:  we have believed lies...lies the enemy has assaulted us with to destroy us.


The enemy takes great joy in their battle tactics.  The Devil and his army love to watch us hurt!  They study us and look for our vulnerable areas and then shoot their fiery arrows straight to our hearts!


WAKE UP!  STAND UP!  LOOK ALIVE AND ALERT!


Identify the lies and replace them with God's truth.  Regain your hope and trust in the Lord with all your heart, mind, soul, and strength.  

Our security can't be found in positive thinking.  No amount of money or nice cars, clothes, houses, or plastic surgery can fill your heart with security.


Jesus knows rejection.  Our rejection looks like, "I'm rubber, you're glue..." compared with what Jesus walked through!  He was tempted in EVERY way we are.  He went through it first and to the uttermost just so we could have a Savior Who can understand!


When I walked through the hardest season of my life...when the worst was being assumed and said about me...when I thought even my husband had joined sides against me, Jesus spoke to my heart and said, "There is NOTHING you are going through that I didn't go through first.  This battle is not yours, it's Mine."


That rhema word from my Redeemer didn't make everything go away or feel instantly better, but it gave me peace in the midst of the storm and hope that my security lay with Him alone.


I felt rejection to my core, but God reached in and met me there!  I have never known a sweeter time of communion with my Lord.  He understood.  He ALWAYS understands.


In my mind, the life of Jesus flashed.  The mocking, the beating, the desertion of those He called friends, the betrayal of one who He should have been able to trust.  Jesus gets it.  He empathizes more than we have revelation of...and most importantly, He cares!


He doesn't step in and stop every bad thing that comes our way or every bad thing we throw someone's way.  Some argue, if He were really a loving God, He would...you know, bad things wouldn't happen.


I, for one, am thankful that He doesn't step in every time.  I wonder how disgustingly prideful and nasty I would be if that were the case!  No, I think it much wiser for us to be allowed to experience hurt so we never want to inflict it!


Security in the Lord is being able to stand while accusers sling their worst your way, but you say nothing in return...you trust in the Lord for your deliverance.  He is your refuge and your strength.  You trust Him to set all things right.


Rejection can only operate in your life if you are fooled by lies.  Ask God to show you what lies you are believing and to guide you to His truth to replace it!

Get Your Hope Back!

It's been way too long since a post was made on here...(eh-hmmm...clearing my throat at my husband ;).  I was sick almost all of August, but I was getting some good study time in (courtesy of Beth Moore, Kevin Leal, and John Bevere) and meditating on God's revelations!

What is on my heart today is faith!  Believing what we cannot see.  But, it's not just some wishful hope...NO, the faith I am talking about is confident assurance!

Do you base your faith-God's believability-on how He performs for you, or do you base it on who He says He is?

If you base your faith on how God answers your prayers, or His lack of answer, when you want and how you want, you will be tossed around and your emotions will have you busted and disgusted.  BUT, if you instead base your faith on who He says He is and believe even when you don't see, you will find peace that passes human understanding.

Life is never gonna be all peaches and cream, but you can get to a point where you thrive, even in the storms.  

I challenge you to begin to read your Bible with fresh vision.  Ask God to help you believe what you read...not read what YOU believe.  We have to let God out of the box we have put Him in.  We must regain our hope...our vision.

Proverbs 29:18 Where there is no vision (revelation; hope; future expectation), the people perish (rot; putrefy; give up; be undisciplined).

We have to recapture our hope!

When junk happens in our life, our hearts grow sick because our hope is deferred (Proverbs 13:12).  We feel devastated...like things can never work out again or like life is a worthless cause.  We start going through the motions, not really living, but just existing.

THAT is not what we were created for!  If our hope is not healed, we won't seek God.  If we aren't seeking God, He will not reward us, for He says He is a rewarder of those who DILIGENTLY seek Him!

My heart is ablaze!  I want to seek Him like I never have before.  I want to hear from Him like I never have before!  He is my answer for every problem I have!

Watching someone you love go through times of uncertainty...times of questioning...is not easy! 

I think it is especially hard when someone has professed to believe a certain way and seems to be walking that way and then, seemingly out of the blue, they inform you that they don't know what they believe!

How did it happen?  When did it happen?  Why is it happening now?  What in the dern world is stinkin' happening???  I just don't understand!!!

Questions...questions...questions!  I have questions.  She has questions!

It could really mess with me if I let it.  I could get frustrated, angry, sad, scared...and well, I actually have went through all those things.  But, at the end of the day, none of my worrying will produce anything good!

So, I march on, being anxious about NOTHING and instead, praying about EVERYTHING!  

I am learning over and over again that it is not my job to fix things. 

As one of my best friends (Sandy D.) said yesterday, "Our responsibility is not to worry; it is to obey."  I CAN'T fix everything.  I can't convince people.  I can't convict them.  I sure should not condemn them!

My responsibility is simply to obey.  I say simply because it really is simple.  We make it hard.  

Hear God.  Obey God.  Trust God.

His yoke is easy and His burden is light.  

The yokes we create for ourselves are hard and heavy.  

I choose to trust You Lord.  I choose to believe that You care more about my friend than I do.  You care more about what she believes.  You love her more than I ever could!  You have the answers to her questions.  You know what she needs to hear and see.  I choose to trust You with her.  

I choose to not worry...and I need You to help me because, as You well know, worry has been ingrained in me.  But, I am seeing that whatever I worry over gets my focus...and Lord, I want only YOU to have my attention!  

So...I am doing my best to take every single thought captive...not let my imagination run wild.  I will not walk through and create scenarios in my head.  I will turn every worry...every tormenting thought into a prayer of praise.  

You care about everything in my life.  You know my heart.  I choose to delight in You and trust You for the desires of my heart.

Giving Grace to Grow

Yep, we are jumping around on topics, and we will continue to do so! We just wanna get people thinking, examining, reevaluating.

I love what Alex Coffman and my husband posted about dating.  I love it because younger people are talking to older people.  I love that communication is happening.  I love that people are SEEKING to understand other points of view!

That is why we blog.  That is why we put ourselves out on the chopping block!

You may not agree with us and that is OKAY!  If it gets you thinking about why you don't agree and what you DO believe, as well as why you believe it, then we have been successful with the mandate God put on us!

Our words are never meant to tear anyone down, only build others up and cause hearts and mindsets to be examined thoroughly!

Praise the Lord that we each have a brain to think with and voice to speak with!  (And, at least for now, have the freedom to do so in America!)

I wish every person could pull down their walls of pride and insecurity and just listen and hear others.  We don't have to pretend to have it all right or have all the answers.  There is NOTHING wrong with saying, "I don't know." or "Maybe I was wrong or too quick to judge and rule."  We aren't really hiding anything from our kids!  They know we are learning as we go.  They know they are guinea pigs!

Let's face it...as parents, we don't know how to raise kids perfectly.  No matter how many children we have and how many times we have done it...no matter how many youth we have worked with, they are all different!  What works for one may push another away from you!

We have to really seek understanding of God's principles and be black and white on those, but be flexible in how we teach with them, guide with them, and instill them.  One individual receives differently than another.  We need God's guidance for EACH child.  I think it's His way of keeping us humble!

God says to train up a child in the way HE should go.  He doesn't say THEY.

My heart's desire is to have enough relationship with each of my sons that they can speak up and be heard, considered, and understood and that they allow me the same grace.  Then hopefully, together we can come to some agreements we can all thrive in.

We talk with our boys about dating NOW before they are even close to it!  We ask them to tell us what they see in the Word...what they feel God wants from them and for them.

See, we believe what God says...only the Word convicts a sinner of his sin.  So if we can get them to examine and speak out what truth they see now, their own hearts will be convicted when they start to deviate.  Their argument won't be with us...it will be with the God they have come to know.

I am so thankful for being able to hear the voices of teens I know.  I pray earnestly that God will speak through them and take all they are saying and put it together so that when my sons do get there, I will have some idea on how to instruct them and not lose them.  I do not want to try to control them.  I want them to be controlled by the Holy Spirit.

I pray for the parents of teens.  I ask God to rebuke me ANY and EVERY time I start to judge.  I don't even pretend to have all the answers, and I desperately don't want to see these parental/child relationships severed.

The cry of my heart is that we all give each other the grace to grow!  I really believe it is possible.

(Posted by Mindy)

What Do I Do When They Want to Date?

A young man from our church, Alex Coffman, posted the following note on Facebook in regards to dating. I thought it was very well thought out and very well articulated. I believe he has a very good point and it is definitely worth reading and contemplating. Mindy and I have had some very in depth discussions about this topic since the posting and I feel God has put some things on my heart in regards to it.

This is what Alex wrote:

Panic Attack: "Oh no, they're dating!"

In preface, I will say that I am writing my transparent opinion on this topic. I have a young mind, and yes, I may be wrong. But this is what I feel, and it's what I'll write. This is also what I believe. I'm not dissing anyone's thoughts or opinions, just voicing mine. Please comment and voice yours. That's my purpose in posting this. I would also like to advise any easily offended friends of mine that there is some fairly blunt talk in this opinionated note. I'm not trying to me offensive, just voicing my opinion straight-forward, not through rose-colored glasses.

Dating is such a hard topic to discuss in the church these days. No one agrees. Someone always finds a loophole. There's always that one exception to the rule. So what's the deal?

Here's the topic:

Should teens be allowed to date?

Believe me, I've heard this from every angle possible. I've heard the people who say dating is wrong PERIOD and the people who say it's all fair game as long as they don't have sex.

I don't believe either of those. The most popular opinions I hear is "wait until they are older and then court", basically, don't get serious until you get old, kids. The other I've heard is just a judge of character.

I don't even think it's that. I think that it is all based on a case to case basis. It doesn't take any kind of scientist to figure out when two people like each other. It's obvious. There's chemistry. There's attraction. It's just part of it. That's what makes "liking" someone what it is. So here are some things to keep in mind when dealing with these situations and issues teens have with the way parents deal with this issue.

A. Parents, you cannot reverse your teen's thoughts. You can tell them that you disapprove of the person by looking at their character, and maybe they will see it too. But you can't keep two people from liking each other. It's simply impossible. Chances are that if you tell someone they "can't" like someone, it will cause rebellion, and no one wants that. It only makes things worse.

B. You can tell easily if two people are together simply because they are physically attracted to each other or if they are also attracted to the other's character. If two are simply physically attracted, well, we know how that ends up. Those Christian teens will show a different side of themselves if they allow themselves to go out of control. However, if two are together for more than the physical attributes, than there's a case to be made for them. If they know in their hearts what they want to do and not do, setting their standards and setting the bar high, they have a case.

C. This brings me to this. Discouragement is not the right thing. As "A" said, you CAN'T keep two people from being physically attracted to each other. However, if these two people are PURELY in love with the person, their character, and the things they do, it's different. If these two people love God, are dedicated to "taking it slow", not kissing or anything further until it is time in the relationship, and are content to just hug, hold hands innocently, and talk on the phone, I see it hard to say "NO, you can't do that". What are you showing a teen in such a crucial time in their life? If they are dedicated to doing things RIGHT, and you say, NO that's wrong, it's discouraging. It's even more discouraging when they have tried to be good and tell their parents about the relationship and they still bring it down. It creates the mentality that if they kept it a secret, they wouldn't have been shot down for doing things the RIGHT way. I've seen it, it's discouraging. And it causes rebellion. Simple as that.

What I'm trying to say is, don't just say no. Analyze the relationship. Talk the two in question through it. Analyze their morals and set standards. I know several cases in which two are together as teens, and these people are scared to speak of it or reveal it because they don't want to have to explain it to others. It's just too much trouble because no one accepts it. In these cases, it is obvious that the 2 are trying their best to be good and do things the right way. If they state a claim to Christianity, and they have set standards, find people to keep them accountable and let them grow together. I do believe that God can put people together, even early in teen life. It's possible. I know it. So don't condemn it. Help the next generation out and don't just use methodology and say "NO!", care about them and analyze the relationship to see if it has good, Christian potential.

D. There's also a level of trust. You have to trust the 2 people to do what they said they have done. So make them accountable with others for their actions. Also, as a parent, you will know the teen son/daughter in your life well enough to know if they can be trusted.

So give it a chance, don't destroy it with a generalization! Take care of their feelings and judge it on a personal, individual level.

The following is what God has been speaking to me:

I have really been thinking about what Alex said in his note about dating and as I commented previously I would like add a couple things. I have been able to speak directly with Alex about this and I don’t think he will mind me putting in my 75 cents worth.

My first thought is King David; one thing always stands out in my mind about him. The Bible says of David, “He was a man after God’s own heart.” That would be an awesome reference to have about ones character. David, even with that said about him, still fell into sin. He was passionate and loved God tremendously. He wanted to serve God and praised and worshipped Him like few other men, but really stepped off into sin with his relationship with Batsheba. How did a man after God’s own heart fall like that?

In 2 Samuel 11: 1 it says “In the spring, at the time when kings go off to war, David sent Joab out with the king's men and the whole Israelite army. They destroyed the Ammonites and besieged Rabbah. But David remained in Jerusalem.” So David was supposed to be at war with his men but he stayed in Jerusalem. He allowed himself to be in a place in which he was not supposed to be. This is my first warning to anyone who wants to “date”. Do not be where you are not supposed to be! Do not be alone, no way, no how! Do not spend the night at a house, even if it is in a big group, if the person you are interested in or attracted to will be there too!

In the same chapter vs. 2 it says “One evening David got up from his bed and walked around on the roof of the palace. From the roof he saw a woman bathing.” This is my second warning and it is in the form of a quote from our very own Pastor Gregg Jackson “Nothing good happens after 11pm.” David was in a place he should not have been and he was out late just looking around. If you are going to be out with the person you are attracted to don’t do at night and if you have any question about being out with the one you are attracted to go back up and read the previous paragraph. With that being said sin is darkness, and darkness has no place in the light. Sin has a greater pull at night and our flesh is more susceptible to it then too. It is easier to conceal what you are doing and easier to get caught up in the moment. Before you even realize it you will have stumbled and the next time it will be even easier to get back to the same place and easier to justify going farther.

I don’t think that there should be a chronological age limit on “dating” (yes I have called it dating, you can call it whatever you want, courting, building a friendship,… whatever, a rose by any other name is still a rose and this is most easily referred to as “dating”). As I was saying, I don’t think that you can put an age limit on dating. Now, let’s use some common sense here, I am not saying that a 12 year old should be allowed to date. What I am saying is that just because a person is 18 or even 42 that he or she has reached some magical age where dating is OK. I believe it is a maturity issue, and not just a social maturity. I believe that before a person can pursue a relationship with the opposite sex he should first be pursuing a relationship with Jesus. She should have a realization of who she is in Christ and have Him at the forefront of her life.

I am pretty sure that the Bible says, in one of those Commandment things, that “I am the Lord your God and there shall be only a couple other little gods before Me.” Of course I jest. I hope we all know that it says “no other gods”. My point is that if a young man or woman doesn’t know who he or she is in Christ and does not have a foundation upon which to build a relationship then that relationship will become an idol in the life of that young person. How often have you heard “I don’t know what I will do if he, or she, breaks up with me”? This is a definite sign that the relationship is an idol. My hope is in the Lord, it cannot be in any man or woman, it has to be in the Lord. If a person, no matter the age, cannot say that, then he has no business dating. If dating does occur without Christ as the most important part of the relationship then the relationship will consume the couple and it will bring destruction in their lives.

I am not saying that we have to be perfect Christians before we can date because that will never happen on this earth. What I am saying is that we have to be Christ centered and focused on a walk with Him as the Lord of our lives. We have to be able to realize when the relationship is becoming and idol and make a mature decision to step away from it until our focus is returned to Christ. This is true in more than just dating. I have seen it in my own life with my job, my hobbies, and even in my “ministry”. Until a person exhibits this amount of character in his life he should not even consider dating. The problem is that, as fallible humans, we have a hard time being honest with ourselves and realizing when these things are becoming idols. We must be willing to seek Godly counsel and open to hearing what that counsel might say to us when it corrects or challenges us.

One last thing, be wary of anyone who tells you to follow your heart. In Jeremiah 17:9 it says “The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it?” When someone tells you to follow your heart they are actually telling you to follow your flesh. The correct advice would be to listen to the Holy Spirit and dive into the Bible to make your decision based on Godly principles not fleshly desires.

So When Should We Judge?

Yesterday, I wrote about why we should not judge, but as I studied Mrs. Moore's book this week, I kept thinking of Scriptures that speak about rebuking and correcting.  Doesn't that require us to make judgments?

The answer is yes.  Mrs. Moore does go on to say that she is "not referring to the absence of discipline in the church or home."  The main focus of her study is on the "quick mental and verbal judgments we make toward one another"...not on restoration.

But there does indeed come a time when leaders must judge according to God's Word and bring correction.  The Bible instructs that the motive for this should be to restore the person, NOT to tear them down.  The Word also sets forth the manner in which the correction should come...humbly and gently.  

If people are walking away from our "correction" feeling beat up and scared to be around us, we are not handling it God's way!  We can think we are because it feels "right" or "fine" or "justified" to us, but the fruit speaks for itself.  Jesus said to judge the fruit.  If people are withdrawing from you or want little relationship with you, you had better change your approach, despite how "right" you feel about yourself!


Never in the church or at home do we have a right to scream at those we believe to be in sin.  We should not be harsh or disrespectful.  Our motive should not be to point the finger and receive any joy out of it, but rather we should be grieving for that person's sin. We should speak to them as we would want to be spoken to.  We should not go into it with the motive of trying to change them, but rather with the desire to see them see their sin before a Holy God and WANT to be closer to Him.  

IT IS NOT OUR JOB TO FIX PEOPLE!!!  IT IS NOT OUR JOB TO CONVINCE THEM OR CONVICT THEM.  THAT IS THE HOLY SPIRIT'S JOB! It is our job to show forth the love of Christ, DESPITE their sin...just like He did!


With my children, I have learned that if I am still mad at them, I don't need to be bringing correction yet!  There is a BIG difference in being angry at the sin verses being angry at the perceived sinner!  This does not mean I can't talk with them and get more understanding, but I don't need to be bringing correction yet!


Also, if we have that, "I can't believe you did that.  I would NEVER do that!" attitude, we are not ready to bring correction.  We are ALL capable of any sin at any time given the right circumstances and mindset.  NOTHING we have ever done is any more or less sinful than any other person's sin!


Some of the most hurtful experiences of my life thus far have come because of others judgments against me.  I tremble thinking of how I may have done the same and never even knew it! 


I don't think it's consciously done most of the time, but nevertheless it is done and the effects are far-reaching.  It grieves me deeply to think I may have caused someone lasting pain like I have felt.

One of the major problems with our human judgment is that we don't have all the facts!  We see a few things and run with it.  We can create entire scenarios that never even happened in our minds.  This may occur because of our past experiences or our fears.  And many of us Christians think we are truly "discerning" what is going on, when in fact, if we would just humble ourselves and listen, we could plainly hear what is going on!  This is a very sad trend and it is wrecking many relationships and churches.  

I have been jabbed with judgments on everything from what I let my kids eat and watch and play to the way I have said something or written something to how I have hung pictures on the walls of my house!  AND I have equally passed those judgments, at least in my head, even if I did not speak them out!

I can't change the past, but I can do something about today.  Lord, help me to be like You!

Passing Our Judgments

For over a year now, I have been facilitating a  womens' Bible study in my home on Monday nights.  We have studied many topics over our time together, but currently we are in the depths of one of Beth Moore's Bible studies called Living Beyond Yourself.  It is about the fruit of the Spirit in a Christian's life.

We have learned so much about why we become frustrated...by trying to work hard in our own strength, when what we need to be focused on is knowing the Lord more intimately.  Then, we will take on His characteristics and therefore act like Jesus in the Earth!

This week we studied patience.  Mrs. Moore points out in her book that the opposite of patience is judgment.   She says, "We cannot both judge others and be patient toward them." I had never really thought of it like that, but it is a teaching I intend to look over again and again.  Oh how my eyes have been opened and my heart is changing!  PRAISE THE LORD!

It is so easy to beat ourselves up over past sins when we have our eyes opened to them, but what a waste of time.  Admit it, grieve it, learn from it, THEN move on!

Here are some reasons NOT to judge others (as taken from Mrs. Moore's book):


When we judge others, we invite God's judgment upon ourselves!


We do many of the same things we judge others for!


We usually don't know the whole truth!


We are mere humans!   God's judgment is always righteous and ours is tainted by our flesh!


When we judge others, we are judging God, thinking He is not handling the situation correctly!

We open up the door for the same type of judgments to be made by others against us!


We may have our perspective hindered by the sin in our own lives!


There is only one Lawgiver and Judge (James 4:12)!

Only God's motive is pure in judgment!


God must agree with us for our judgment to be correct!


These are all good reasons not to pass judgment, but perhaps the most heart-turning reason...the one that will propel us to stop it...is to treat others as we want to be treated.  I wish our love for God and our honor for what He says to do was enough to motivate us to stop being critical!  The truth is, though, it usually is not.

No, most of the time, the only catalyst that will propel us to change is knowing how much it hurts to have it done to US.  Yes, we are THAT selfish!


I truly think that is why God allows us to feel hurt to the depth He does.  Yes, He is all-powerful.  Yes, He could stop ANYTHING at ANY time He chose, but in His great love for us all, He allows us free will and consequences.  Without them, I dare say we would ALWAYS be a disgusting flock of prideful creatures!!!

Beth Moore says, "Whether or not the thought is conscious, most judgments boil down to this justification:  'At least I don't do that!'"


Wow!  How true!  "God's judgment is not based on His ego like ours is!"

When will the Body of Christ get the revelation that NO sin is greater than any other, and we ALL fall short of His standard!
 

When will we stop bickering amongst ourselves over doctrinal beliefs and focus on the big picture?


When will we believe God about our identity in Jesus so that we stop being jealous and squashing other people's gifts?


When will we celebrate one another instead of sizing each other up?