Yesterday, I wrote about why we should not judge, but as I studied Mrs. Moore's book this week, I kept thinking of Scriptures that speak about rebuking and correcting. Doesn't that require us to make judgments?
The answer is yes. Mrs. Moore does go on to say that she is "not referring to the absence of discipline in the church or home." The main focus of her study is on the "quick mental and verbal judgments we make toward one another"...not on restoration.
But there does indeed come a time when leaders must judge according to God's Word and bring correction. The Bible instructs that the motive for this should be to restore the person, NOT to tear them down. The Word also sets forth the manner in which the correction should come...humbly and gently.
If people are walking away from our "correction" feeling beat up and scared to be around us, we are not handling it God's way! We can think we are because it feels "right" or "fine" or "justified" to us, but the fruit speaks for itself. Jesus said to judge the fruit. If people are withdrawing from you or want little relationship with you, you had better change your approach, despite how "right" you feel about yourself!
Never in the church or at home do we have a right to scream at those we believe to be in sin. We should not be harsh or disrespectful. Our motive should not be to point the finger and receive any joy out of it, but rather we should be grieving for that person's sin. We should speak to them as we would want to be spoken to. We should not go into it with the motive of trying to change them, but rather with the desire to see them see their sin before a Holy God and WANT to be closer to Him.
IT IS NOT OUR JOB TO FIX PEOPLE!!! IT IS NOT OUR JOB TO CONVINCE THEM OR CONVICT THEM. THAT IS THE HOLY SPIRIT'S JOB! It is our job to show forth the love of Christ, DESPITE their sin...just like He did!
With my children, I have learned that if I am still mad at them, I don't need to be bringing correction yet! There is a BIG difference in being angry at the sin verses being angry at the perceived sinner! This does not mean I can't talk with them and get more understanding, but I don't need to be bringing correction yet!
Also, if we have that, "I can't believe you did that. I would NEVER do that!" attitude, we are not ready to bring correction. We are ALL capable of any sin at any time given the right circumstances and mindset. NOTHING we have ever done is any more or less sinful than any other person's sin!
Some of the most hurtful experiences of my life thus far have come because of others judgments against me. I tremble thinking of how I may have done the same and never even knew it!
I don't think it's consciously done most of the time, but nevertheless it is done and the effects are far-reaching. It grieves me deeply to think I may have caused someone lasting pain like I have felt.
One of the major problems with our human judgment is that we don't have all the facts! We see a few things and run with it. We can create entire scenarios that never even happened in our minds. This may occur because of our past experiences or our fears. And many of us Christians think we are truly "discerning" what is going on, when in fact, if we would just humble ourselves and listen, we could plainly hear what is going on! This is a very sad trend and it is wrecking many relationships and churches.
I have been jabbed with judgments on everything from what I let my kids eat and watch and play to the way I have said something or written something to how I have hung pictures on the walls of my house! AND I have equally passed those judgments, at least in my head, even if I did not speak them out!
I can't change the past, but I can do something about today. Lord, help me to be like You!
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